Conversion has been on my mind lately, specifically narratives of conversion. My conversion narrative used to go something like this. When I was seven years of age (I’m not really sure if I was six or seven, but I always chose the certain age of seven because it wasn’t too young or too old and I had to be certain of my age to give my story legitimacy.), I attended a Sunday evening service in which the Pastor preached on sin. At the age of seven, or possibly six, or maybe even a young eight, I came “personally aware of my own sin” and how my sin had made God angry. So righteous was his anger that he was planning on sending me to hell - forever. But God’s angry plans were changed forever that night because after we returned home that evening I told my earthly father as we watered the backyard strawberry garden that I wanted to be "saved." So we went into my bedroom, knelt on the red carpet next to bunk beds with red bedspreads and I repeated the sinner’s prayer. After my dad gave me a bear hug we came out of the bedroom and walked into the kitchen where my mother was pulling pizza muffins out of the oven and shared with her the good news that “Jesus was now in my heart.” Details like the strawberry garden, the colors in the bedroom and the pizza muffins are crucial because they lend credibility to my story. The conversion story needs as much integrity as possible because this conversion story is all about me. It’s about me as an individual. It’s about my knowledge, my sincerity, my ability to understand and most important, my capacity to tell a convincing story.
As I recall this story, for which I am thankful, it’s not about the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. It’s not about God’s love for me a rebellious sinner. It’s not about a present life with God that begins changing me right away. It's not about grace. It is only about this. I am bad. God has to send me to hell. I can force him to let me into heaven if I pray these specific words with sincerity.
Elements of this narrative are true, but they are not as true as they could be. Some elements are downright false. The Gospel is not about me. The Gospel is the good news about what God did through Jesus to reverse the fall. And God is now calling us to repent and believe in what He did and will do through Jesus. The Gospel is about what God did for us, not what we have to do for God. Obviously, my own conversion narrative has been deconstructed and is still in the process of reconstruction. Previously my story was about one and only one event. Nowadays I like to think about that event as the first in a series of equally important events. God is saving me daily. Moment by moment his grace leads me to daily death and daily re-birth. By his Spirit God is shaping me into the image of His Son.
I am now convinced there is more diversity to “conversion narratives,” but I still believe there are some essential elements that all Christians should find in their stories. Also, these elements will take on a variety of forms. 1) New Birth to Sonship – A time where God awakens you with his Spirit to the new identity he is bestowing upon you in Jesus as a Son or Daughter of Jesus’ Father. Included in this “event” are repentance and faith in Jesus as Savior and Lord, leading to a life of following Jesus. 2) Community of Discipleship – In the New Testament conversion to Christ always leads to participation in his Body, the Church (1 Peter 1.22-23). Involvement in the Church affords us with more saving moments as the grace of God is made available to us through other members and through the sacraments of baptism and communion. 3) Kingdom of Citizenship – As we are graciously transformed through following Jesus, we will seek to live, proclaim, advance and embody his Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.
Thinking about our own conversion narratives and going through the processes of deconstruction and reconstruction are crucial tasks. The Church needs to have one unifying narrative. That narrative is the life, death, resurrection, ascension and future return of Jesus to make all things new. Salvation is about that narrative becoming our narrative. And as we tell our unique stories of way the Jesus Story became our story we are collectively unified.
Once again, I bless God for each element of my own story. I am thankful for the sermon on sin and for that saving moment of praying with my dad. But I equally bless God for my present family of fellow-disciples at Somonauk Baptist Church, for the Kingdom in which we are privileged to participate and for his kindness in revealing to me that my salvation was not my own doing. God did it. God is doing it. God will complete it. The freedom is sweet and saving.
What are some of your thoughts on your own conversion narrative?
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